Bringing a bake sale dessert that doesn't sell out doesn't necessarily make you a bad baker — it just means you made some bad choices. As Simon Cowell used to say on American Idol, your pick was probably self-indulgent. You may love raisins, but show me a group of 50 people who feel the same way. (I'm waiting.) And while your mom's lemon bar recipe is famous, that distinction may not extend beyond your family. Your best bet when it comes to bake sales, is to stick to the classics and avoid these contentious goodies.
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
There is absolutely nothing worse than thinking you're biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to discover that morsel is actually a raisin masquerading as chocolate.
You can jazz popcorn up with frosting and M&M's and a whole host of other goodies sitting in your pantry, but at the end of the day, it's still something I could have microwaved in the comfort of my home.
In today's world of OTT everything, a vanilla cupcake with vanilla frosting just isn't going to cut it. The only way these boring little pastries will garner a line is if you label them "mystery flavor cupcakes" and watch people scarf them down in confusion.
We're all about swapping applesauce for butter and using avocado in chocolate pudding, but here's the thing: Dieting dinner guests may not mind the switches, but picky schoolchildren are going to turn their nose at your hack with just a sniff of the treat.
Do you know what happens to perfectly square lemon bars that sit at room temperature for an hour and are handled constantly? They turn into mushy citrus curd — and ain't nobody got time for that.
Anyone over that age of 25 can finally admit that they like a loaf of this stuff — especially if it comes studded with chocolate chips. But good luck convincing 5th graders that this sweet bread doesn't taste like the green vegetable they loathe.
Here are the cold, hard facts: You will overbake these, they will turn out flavorless and dry, and you will try to compensate with sloppy royal icing. Still interested in making these?
We said bake sale not baked sale.
A school gym is not a quaint bakery in the heart of the Italian countryside, and you are serving young kids and their tired parents not old men drinking cappuccinos. Know your audience and try again.
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